


Sherlock and Jim Have Awkward Sex (and still like each other afterwards)

by oceanofcreepy



Series: Sherlock and Jim [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Kissing, Blowjobs, Hair Pulling, It's exactly what it says on the tin, M/M, Mild S&M Elements, Neither of them really know what they're doing, PWP, Plot What Plot, Spanking, There is some frank and unsexy discussion of sex and the mechanics of it, This is a tad silly, Unsexy Dirty Talk, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:28:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanofcreepy/pseuds/oceanofcreepy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Sherlock decide they’re curious enough to take their relationship to a physical level. However they can’t agree on any of the details of sex.  </p><p>OR</p><p>When geniuses who don’t know how to have sex try to have sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sherlock and Jim Have Awkward Sex (and still like each other afterwards)

**Author's Note:**

> Folks, who gets to top is Sherlock and Jim’s REAL final problem. There are no rooftops or waterfalls in this story, but somebody does fall off the bed and bump their head on the floor. 
> 
>  
> 
> I guess I should mention before we begin that I don’t think of Jim as anywhere close to being as sexually experienced as most of the fandom does.

“Dirty talk?” Sherlock looked incredulously at Jim. The two of them were in his bed in Baker street already changed into sleep shirts and boxers. Both were sitting upright, backs against the headboard.

 

They both had decided that they were curious about exploring the physical side of their relationship, but weren’t entirely sure of the best way to do that. Jim had suggested dirty talk might be the most natural route to a physical relationship.

 

“Oh come on. You hardly shut up about your cases and tobacco ash varieties anyway.” Jim rolled his eyes. “Why not use that natural loquaciousness for something with more _tangible_ benefits?” He offered one of his cat-like grins he used whenever he felt pleased with himself.

 

“You mean ‘oh I’ve been so _naughty_? How should I be punished _sir_?’ That sort of dirty talk?” Sherlock’s face settled into the kind of frigid, judgmental expression that made most other people feel too uncomfortable to continue talking to him. “I can’t believe that kind of trite talk excites you.”  

 

Jim didn’t miss a beat; Sherlock’s scathing looks had never been effective on him. “Well half the fun is knowing that it’s the _great Sherlock Holmes, world famous consulting detective_ who’s saying it. Still, that wasn’t really the most inspired way of starting this, but okay I’ll go along with that opening statement.” Sherlock’s expression flashed annoyance at Jim taking his mockery of dirty talk as an actual attempt at it.

 

Jim turned towards Sherlock so that he was sitting with his calves folded under him and leaned in towards Sherlock’s face. “I have no doubt you’ve been a naughty boy.” He brought his hand along Sherlock’s cheek and down to his neck. “Scream at any old ladies today? Grin at the prospect of a new murder? Abuse Anderson again?” He whispered against the half-moon of Sherlock’s ear allowing his lips to make occasional contact. Sherlock could hear the grin in Jim’s voice.

 

“I can’t play this kind of game. It’s ridiculous.” He grasped Jim’s wandering hand and removed it from where it was massaging his neck. Sherlock couldn’t think of anything less arousing to talk about in bed than Anderson.   

 

Jim huffed. “You just don’t want to play because you hate admitting how naughty you really are. It’s okay. We both know the truth even if you’re too shy to say it.” Jim looked him directly in the eye. “You and I wouldn’t be in this bed together if you weren’t naughty, like me. But you have to pretend to the Yard to be a decent citizen so they’ll keep giving you cases so I understand the reluctance.” The pleased grin never left his face.  

 

Sherlock could feel his ire raising. All he wanted was to get rid of that stupid, _knowing_ grin.

 

“You grew out your hair after the first time I met you at the pool. Is it because you were hoping I’d give it a yank?” The tone of his voice was cruel and he was rewarded for his efforts when Jim’s smile dissolved and he seemed to be holding his features in a deliberately controlled arraignment. It was only an educated guess, but Sherlock was satisfied to know he was right. “So that’s how your preferences run. How terribly predictable.” He was pleased that he had redirected their conversation from being about him to being about Jim.

 

“Predictable?” Jim was almost offended.

 

“Yes, you did seem more comfortable than you should have been in John’s headlock that night.” He narrowed his eyes. Slowly, slow enough for Jim to move out of reach if he wanted, he threaded pale fingers into Jim’s dark hair. He tightened his grip. “Is this really the sort of thing you like?”

 

“You think less of me for it?”

 

“No, but I do find it interesting. I’m sure the rest of the world thinks you’d prefer to be the one causing the pain.”

 

“We both know the rest of the world is populated with simple minded idiots. They couldn’t even tell anything was amiss in Carl Powers’ death. What does the world know about me?”

 

Sherlock sniffed. “Nothing.”

 

“Lucky me that you’re clearly not the sort who’s squeamish about causing pain.” Jim laughed and it was almost a giggle, the natural heaving motion of a laugh making Sherlock’s grip in his hair tense even more in synch with his laugh. “I heard you did quite a number on that CIA agent. Apparently you _lost count_ of how many times you tossed him out your window? What does it take for _you_ to lose count? And the best part is Lestrade knew and didn’t even reprimand you! Oh, I don’t think there’s any denying how _naughty_ you truly are. Maybe you really do need some punishment—for all the naughty things you’ve gotten away with. ” Even from the prostrate position of having his neck held taut by his hair, his eyes shimmered with pure amusement.  

 

Sherlock grimaced. Jim had turned the conversation back to him. He pulled harder on Jim’s hair till his head was jerked back and he was forced to look at the ceiling. Jim let out a little gasp, but he didn’t even lift a finger to stop him. While his mouth was still agape Sherlock pressed a kiss to Jim’s lips… and promptly discovered how awkward it was to kiss an open mouth. He wasn’t sure if he should try to kiss the entirety of Jim’s mouth or focus on his parted top or bottom lip? He decided to settle for biting Jim’s bottom lip instead.

 

Jim knew Sherlock was just trying to shut him up, but he couldn’t say he minded. Even with the sloppy kiss-turned-lip bite.

 

“If anyone here needs punishment for getting away with naughty things it’s _you_.”

  

“But I’m pretty sure your brother already gave me my punishment.” He gave Sherlock a wide-eyed look full of faux-innocence.

 

“I would hardly even have a job if not for you. Obviously you’ve committed more reprehensible acts than I have.”

 

“Oh nobody is arguing that. Of course I’ve done more reprehensible things than you, but everybody expects bad things from me and wants to see me punished for what I’ve done. But here you are, the person with the veneer of legality working for the Yard committing all your own terrible crimes and no one thinks of punishing you for them. Maybe I should have tried to be a detective. Think of how much more I could get away with—Oh!”   

 

Sherlock reversed the direction he was pulling on Jim’s hair. Jim was still sitting with his legs folded straight under him and switching from pulling back on Jim’s hair to pulling forward caused Jim to fall ahead of himself into Sherlock’s lap. “So I’ve done bad things.” Sherlock pulled Jim’s boxers down to his knees. Forcefully to compensate for the fabric’s resistance to being pulled with body weight holding it down. “But I bet you’re precisely the sort of person who’d find the idea of being punished by someone who’s almost as bad as you are exciting.” Sherlock rested his hand on the fullest part of Jim’s rump in warning, his other hand still holding a handful of Jim’s hair.

 

Jim’s face froze in surprise for a moment before melting into an impish smile. “Oh you’ve _caught_ me! The great detective in the hat with two fronts! Completely destroyed my precious crime web. What’s my punishment to be?” He pushed his bottom into Sherlock’s hand slightly in encouragement.

 

No more encouragement was needed. Sherlock was frustrated with Jim constantly bringing up his morality tonight and he let it show in his first vicious strike of his hand. The force of skin hitting skin created a reverberating crack. Jim let out an aborted cry that was cut short as he rapidly expelled all the air from his lungs in a gasp. Sherlock didn’t give him any time to regain any of his composure after the first strike and let fly two more strokes, one on each cheek. A beat passed, and then he administered another slap against the lower curve of his bottom where cheek joined with thigh. For a moment he let himself feel the skin he just struck as it gained warmth.

 

The quality of Jim’s breaths changed, they were more frequent, uneven. That’s when he noticed it. Jim’s erection digging into his thigh. He inhaled sharply as Jim started rubbing his torso against his crotch. “Stop moving.” Sherlock pulled with refreshed vigor on Jim’s hair sending small throbbing bursts of pain along his scalp. Still Jim didn’t make any move to halt Sherlock’s actions; he lay unmoving and breathed heavily.

 

More than Jim rubbing against him, Sherlock found the idea of causing pain to someone who enjoyed it arousing and he needed a second to think about that. He didn’t think he was that sort of person, but he supposed it flowed out of the same place that caused him to be a more physically violent person than Jim ever was despite their opposing positions with regards to the law. It seemed incredible to him that someone so well matched for him intellectually could also have turned out to have been a sexual match as well. He released Jim’s hair, “how far did you want to go tonight?” Sherlock thought that the question was a legitimate one. They had discussed having sex, but not when it would happen.

 

Jim twisted in Sherlock’s lap till he was looking up at him. “What, are you not prepared tonight?”     

 

“I’m willing to try, but how will we determine who will be… the receptive partner?”

 

Both of their expressions changed at that question. The idea of being penetrated was not something either of them had given serious consideration. For a long time neither were interested in trying to have sex and when that changed each of them assumed they’d be the one who topped. Jim stood up and paced about the room a bit. Sherlock stood up after him and shifted from side to side with an anxious energy.

 

“How do people normally determine who tops or bottoms?” Sherlock wondered.

 

“I suppose they just have complimentary preferences?” Jim frowned.

 

“But we both have the same preference.”

 

“I think I should be on top. I’ve had more experience than you and I have a better idea of what to do.” Jim made his bid.

 

“You’re not that much more experienced than me. When was the last time you even had sex?” Sherlock countered.

 

“Probably more recently than you.” _Even if it had been years,_  Jim thought to himself.

 

Sherlock couldn’t argue with that given that he was still in university the last time he had sex. So he changed tactics. “I want to top. There’s less chance of injury being the top.”

 

“But if you don’t know what you’re doing you’re more likely to cause _me_ injury. And besides, you don’t think I’d be gentle?” Jim pouted.  

 

“I suppose you would be. You wouldn’t want our first time to be any more unpleasant than first times usually are.”

 

“Did I actually convince you?”

 

Sherlock sighed. “I worry about how this will work when the ‘more experienced’ one of us still hasn’t actually had sex in quite a while.”

 

“If the ordinary people can figure it out I’m sure we can, aren’t we geniuses?”

 

Without pausing to explain himself, Sherlock reached over into his bedside table drawer and pulled out a bottle of lubricant.

 

Jim looked surprised. “I didn’t anticipate you’d be this... ready.” The sudden mental image of Sherlock actually going to the store to buy lubricant entered his mind. _The man could barely even be bothered to buy food._ He found the whole scenario oddly romantic. Did any of his fan club members see him checking out of the store purchasing that? He wondered what they would have thought if they knew he was purchasing lubricant to fuck the person responsible for the crimes their hero solved.  

 

Sherlock shrugged. “It seemed inevitable. I didn’t want to be unprepared.” Sherlock made a motion to take off the cap, but Jim reached his hand out.

 

While touched that Sherlock thought their having sex was inevitable, he wasn’t about to allow their first time to happen like that. “Wait, just because we’ve decided to try tonight doesn’t mean we have to rush things.”

 

“What else did you want to do?”

 

“What else did I want to do?” Jim looked at Sherlock disbelievingly. “I just want you to know that your ‘lie back and think of England’ attitude towards this is _incredibly_ sexy and definitely conducive to sex happening tonight.” He gave Sherlock a sardonic look. “First I want you out of those stupid clothes.” Jim’s own boxers had fallen off a while ago and he  was only in his sleep shirt. He pulled it off over his head enthusiastically before reaching over to tug Sherlock’s boxers down his sinewy legs. Sherlock removed his own shirt.  

 

“Now kiss me.” Jim reached his arms up and pulled Sherlock’s shoulders down. Unsure of himself, Sherlock bent down the rest of the way to kiss Jim. The kiss was clumsy and it made Sherlock feel a bit self-conscious, strange because he never felt self-conscious about anything. Not riding the subway covered in blood. Not sitting naked in Buckingham Palace covered with just a wrinkled bedsheet.

 

Their kiss was unpracticed, but Jim didn’t really care. Just having their lips and bodies pressed together was enough for him. As the kiss deepened they found that they instinctually pressed their hips into each other.

 

Jim reached for Sherlock’s erection; he ran his hand up and down along the length and was awarded with a quiver in Sherlock’s lips as they continued to exchange kisses. As the constant motion on his erection was maintained, a slight quiver entered his stance as well. Sherlock reached out his hands to crush Jim’s face into his and he started to drive himself into Jim’s hand.    

                                                                                                                                       

Jim pulled away mid-kiss breathing hot, frenetic breaths in Sherlock’s face, “you could touch me you know.” He raised both eyebrows.

 

“Oh.” Sherlock looked down at Jim’s neglected cock. Feeling adventurous he pushed Jim down on to the bed. He gripped the base of Jim’s erection, it had been a very long time since he had done this, but the basic concept wasn’t something he’d forget. He lowered his head till the tip of Jim’s penis was parting his lips. The skin felt smooth against his lips, he used his tongue to stoke against the head. Then he took him deeper and sucked.

 

Jim tossed his head back and forth as he fought to keep from thrusting up into that swelteringly hot mouth, against the rough softness of his tongue. Sherlock started moving his head up and down on his erection and he thought he might scream.    

 

‘Ah—maybe we should stop.” Jim was gasping and placed a hand on Sherlock’s cheek to still his movements.

 

Pulling his mouth from Jim's erection he said, “getting a bit over excited?” The question was delivered with a smirk. Truthfully Sherlock was pleased he was capable of having that effect on Jim.

 

Jim gave him a withering stare. “Mock all you want, it’s for _your_ benefit that I’m trying not to get over stimulated before we even begin.”

 

“So does that mean you’re ready to try?”

 

“Well that’s more your decision isn’t it?”

 

“I thought it was our decision.”

 

“Of course, but you’re the one in the more… vulnerable position. It only seems fair that I defer to when you’re ready rather than the other way around.”

 

A coil of nervousness wound itself up in Sherlock’s gut, but he fought it down. “Let’s try.”

 

On the bed Jim lay next to Sherlock. The bottle of lubricant was in his hands and he brushed small kisses against Sherlock’s temple. “I find that it can be helpful, especially for your first time, to stretch yourself. If something hurts you can stop immediately and you’ll have a better idea of what hurts and what doesn’t. Plus you tend to be more relaxed when it’s your own hand.”

 

“That makes sense.”

 

Jim popped open the cap to the lubricant and drizzled a generous amount over Sherlock’s fingers. The nervousness returned as he started rubbing the fluid over his fingers. An irrational emotion since nobody was more attuned to his body to make sure the experience was as painless as possible than himself. But it was something he had never tried before. The unknown always had fear as its constant companion. He took a calming breath right before he slid a well lubricated finger inside himself. It was surprisingly easy slipping that first finger into himself. He pressed in farther till he felt something that made him gulp and his cock palpitate against his abdomen.  

 

One finger was so simple that he decided not to linger on it. He worked his index and middle finger into himself, but this time slower and more cautiously. He could feel himself stretching to accommodate, but it wasn’t a painful stretch. Once both fingers were inside he let them just rest there without attempting to move them to allow himself more time to adjust. Jim rubbed his hands along Sherlock’s chest in a soothing manner.

 

Making sure to observe Sherlock’s movements, learning through his shifts in position what angles seemed to garner responses and which didn’t, he noticed how he had moved on to two fingers so quickly. “Don’t feel like you need to hurry Sherlock.” He inhaled against Sherlock’s neck and he reveled in the softly salty, slightly milky scent of warm human skin.

 

“I’m okay, you’re right. It’s easier because it’s my own hand.” He finally felt comfortable enough to start trying to move his two fingers in and out of himself. It took more adjusting to get used to something moving inside of him rather than just simply being there and he kept his motions slow.

 

He was so focused on the task at hand that he couldn’t hold back a ragged moan when Jim’s lips closed around his cock. The wet heat around him and his own fingers inside him made him impatient. Tentatively he pulled out and started nudging a third finger. This time he couldn’t just press forward like he had before, he delicately moved millimeter by millimeter and even then found himself pausing to let out a breath he didn’t notice he was holding. Jim had switched to licking up and down the vein on the underside of his cock and watched Sherlock’s progress with interest. Time seemed to pass agonizingly slowly for Sherlock and he could swear he could feel each and every muscle fiber stretching to make way for him until at last all three fingers were buried far enough inside him till his palm could cup his testicles. He was sweating with the effort and taking deep breaths. “What would be the best position?”

 

“Typically doggie or for you to sit on top of me are some of the more comfortable ways to have sex for the first time.”

 

“Those positions are rather impersonal aren’t they?”

 

“Yes, but I’m more concerned with comfort than whether we can look into each other’s eyes making gooey faces.” Jim took the bottle of lubricant and started to coat himself.

 

Sherlock used his free hand to yank Jim on top of him. “I don’t see the point in any of this if I can’t see you while we fuck. You’re the only reason I want to have sex again after finding it fairly lackluster when I first tried it.”

 

Jim laughed. “ _I’m_ your reason for finally wanting to have sex again? I never knew you had such loving feelings for me!”He beamed and teased in equal measure. “It only took about twenty years of crime to _finally_ get your attention Sherly. You hardly even paid attention to me when I outright flirted with you and gave you my phone number. You’re lucky I’m so persistent or else I might have given up on _ordinary Sherlock_. I’m so _flattered_ all that effort is finally paying off so spectacularly.”

 

“Oh shut up.” With that Sherlock positioned Jim’s cock, he removed his fingers and promptly replaced them with a new object. The air in his throat hitched and he could tell from the look on Jim’s face that he was also taken aback by the sudden stimulation. He seemed to regain his wits after a time and started steadily pressing forward.

 

To go from nothing to clutching heat took Jim’s breath away. He set a sadistically slow pace, unsure about going any faster. Gradually he shifted in and out of Sherlock. It took all his effort to hold back, but he took the responsibility to make their first time together mutually pleasurable seriously. If Sherlock had expected to be taken quickly he would be disappointed. It wasn’t until Sherlock was griping bruises into his hips, wrapping his long legs around his waist, and finally started to furiously threaten to turn him in to the Yard that night if he didn’t speed up _fucking now_ that he finally let himself go.

 

With that command he fucked Sherlock into the mattress remorselessly. The driving force of each thrust making Sherlock squeeze his eyes shut.

 

Suddenly there was no bed beneath them, everything was confusing as they slipped off the edge of the bed together and crashed onto the bedroom floor. Jim for his part was okay having ridden Sherlock almost like a raft off the bed. Sherlock on the other hand let out a groan as the back of his head made contact with the carpet.

 

“You alright?”

 

Sherlock scowled and rubbed his hands on the back of his head. “I’m alright, we didn’t fall very far.” He didn’t want this to be over, and refused to let that ruin their night. “Come on Jim, I haven’t come yet.” He gyrated his hips and grabbed Jim’s chin to pull him down into a burning kiss.

 

Jim matched him kiss for kiss and restarted his thrusts again. He could feel his orgasm threateningly nearby. His body was aching to just fall off the edge and he wanted Sherlock to fall with him. Jim scrambled his hand down to Sherlock’s blisteringly hot cock. It took only a few strong pulls before Sherlock came splattering onto his own chest with a cry and Jim was helpless not to fall after him. The force of his orgasm left him shattered against Sherlock’s chest and trying to regain his composure. He gave up and just let the aftershocks wrack shivers all across his goose-fleshed skin.  

 

Jim continued to lay sprawled on Sherlock’s chest. Sherlock hugged Jim into himself tighter. He knew they should get cleaned up, they were both covered in his come, but neither of them paid any mind to that. Neither of them seemed willing to break the spell enshrouding their first time together by getting up.

 

As their breathing began to normalize Sherlock finally said, “I’m going to top next time.”

 

“We’ll see.”

 

“Absolutely, you’ll definitely see me on top next time.” Sherlock smirked and Jim responded with his own challenging look.  

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to, tell me what you think of this. 
> 
> I have my own judgments about this, but I’m curious to know what other Sheriarty shippers think. 
> 
> I actually find it really hard to imagine these two being porny together despite shipping it like burning, this was me forcing myself to try.


End file.
